Before the ceremony, while most of your guests are still finding parking, there’s a room in the hotel with a U-shaped table set for about sixty people. That’s where the ketubah signing happens, and it’s one of my favorite parts of the day.
A lot of people don’t know this, but there’s a way of sitting at a ketubah signing. The bride and groom sit in the middle of the U. The rabbi sits next to the groom, because on the groom’s other side is his future wife. The groom’s family fills the seats along his side of the U, and the bride’s family fills the seats along hers. So when you walk in, you can see both families facing each other, about to become one.
The ketubah itself is your Jewish marriage contract. It’s usually written in Aramaic, and it lists what the husband promises his wife, including how she’ll be taken care of. When it was first written, that was a big deal for women’s rights. Every Jewish community signs one, whether Ashkenazi, Sephardic or Mizrahi. The wording can change a little depending on the community.
It gets signed in front of two witnesses, and they sign it too. The witnesses can’t be related to the couple, so it’s a really nice honor for a close friend.
There’s a way of sitting at a ketubah signing, and most people don’t know it until they’re in the room.
And then it gets emotional in the best way. At Persian weddings, the bride usually receives a beautiful gold shawl from her grandmother, which is one of the sweetest moments of the day. There’s singing, there’s dancing, and the room is so full of love before anyone has even walked down the aisle.
One more thing: pick a ketubah you love. So many couples now choose a ketubah that’s a real piece of art, and they frame it and hang it at home. It’s one of the only things from your wedding day you’ll look at every single day.
BTW, WHO’S PLANNING YOUR EVENT? #THEVENTBAR
