Right after the ceremony, the couple walks back up the aisle, and instead of going to take photos or into cocktail hour, they disappear into a room together. Alone. For the first time as a married couple. It’s called yichud, and I think it is the cutest thing.
Think about it. These two have just promised each other a whole life together, and for many observant couples, this is the first time they’re finally allowed to touch. It is the most intimate thing ever. It’s not something I follow myself, but I can only imagine how precious it is to finally hold the hand of the person you’ve already chosen for the rest of your life.
Yichud means “seclusion,” and it’s mostly an Ashkenazi tradition. A lot of Sephardic and Persian families don’t do it the same way, or at all, so talk to your rabbi if you’re not sure where your family falls. Where it is done, there are rules. The room has to be private, and the door gets locked. Two witnesses check that the room is empty before the couple goes in and watch the door close behind them. Then they stay inside alone for a few minutes.
What happens in that room? Nobody knows, and that’s the point. It’s their own private moment, and it belongs to them.
Nobody knows what happens in the yichud room. That’s exactly how it should be.
What I do make sure of is that the room is ready for them. There’s food waiting, because a lot of couples fast on their wedding day and haven’t eaten a thing. If the bride took off her jewelry before the ceremony, it’s in there ready for her. And they get a real few minutes to themselves before everyone else takes over again.
Because after that door opens, it’s go time. There’s a change of clothes, hair and makeup get touched up, photos, and a room full of people who all want a piece of them for the rest of the night. Those few quiet minutes are theirs, and I protect them.
BTW, WHO’S PLANNING YOUR EVENT? #THEVENTBAR
